


Finally Calm

by Random_Quality



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Kendall Angst, Kendall with Several People, M/M, Mentions of underage drinking, One-Shot, Realizations, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-05
Updated: 2013-03-05
Packaged: 2017-12-04 09:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Quality/pseuds/Random_Quality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kendall's had a very stressful past year, and finally everything has settled down</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finally Calm

Kendall watched his friends while sipping a pink smoothie. They were all sat around a pool table, just enjoying the peaceful moment. He hadn't had one of these in a very long time, like, a year long time. And the reasons where sitting around this table.

The first to start his problems was Jo.

When she'd come back, he'd been so confused. Everyone thought it was because he didn't know if he wanted Lucy or Jo, and part of it was, but the part that no one knew about was, he'd been questioning his sexuality. He never really got to think about it, though. He decided that he'd go for the one he'd miss the most if they left. So he'd chosen Jo.

And for three months they'd been happy, but he couldn't do it. He was starting to have more and more trouble keeping his eyes off other guys. He'd felt terrible. All he could think about while he'd kissed Jo was how'd it feel like to kiss someone with a stronger jaw and maybe just a little bit of scruff. So he broke up with her. It wasn't fair to lead her on. She deserved someone that looked only at her. And as much as he wished he could be that, he wasn't. It broke his heart to break hers. He loved her like a sister and he hated that he was the cause of her pain. But luckily, after some time, they'd stayed friends.

Even then he never had time to actually experiment with his new found preferences. Right after that came his second problem, Logan became sick. Extremely sick. Somehow he'd gotten walking pneumonia. It's symptoms are just like a regular cold, but if not treated, could turn into a sever case of pneumonia. Which is what happened. Logan had collapsed one day at rehearsals. It'd scared the shit out of Kendall. They'd rushed him to the hospital and after hours of waiting and Kendall nearly having a heart attack, they'd found out Logan have an almost terminal case of pneumonia and it wasn't clear if the smart boy would live.

It was like the world had caved in on him. Logan, the one that never got sick, could die. So for the next two months, Logan was bed ridden. He'd been in an almost comatose state. He'd looked so weak and fragile and the coughs where heart wrenching. It'd been to familiar, to real. To much like how his father died. Kendall had lost count how many times he'd cried himself to sleep in James' arms.

It been worse for Carlos though. Kendall found Carlos one evening curled up in a ball in one of the janitor supply closets. His already breaking heart broke at the site of Carlos, shoulders shaking and eyes red. He'd found out that Carlos was in love with Logan and he was so scared that he wouldn't be able to tell the smart one how he felt.

"I can't lose him, Kendall. I…don't know what I'd do without him." Carlos had whispered, heart wrenching sobs escaping him right after.

And it'd been that moment he'd decided he'd do anything in his power to get Logan better, or at the very least well enough for Logan to feel Carlos' love. That's what he'd done too. He'd talked to the doctors about Logan's case, finding out that it was a special one. He was balancing on the point of no return and full recovery, the medication he was on now kept him balanced there. He'd also found out that there was an experimental treatment that was said to cure patience's like Logan. He'd immediately asked to try. The doctor warned him though that the trail was new and could cause more harm than good. But if there was one thing Kendall Knight was known for, it was taking risks.

"I understand doctor. But Logan is my friend and I have to make sure I've tried everything to make him better. I'll deal with the consequences' if they come." The doctor just sighed and singed Logan up. The rest was history. There had been a few scary turns were they thought they were going to lose him, but it has to get worse before it gets better, and soon Logan was on his way to recovery. Even now he was still a little under the weather, but nothing threatening and can be treated with over the counter medicine.

Kendall smiled when he glanced over and saw Carlos and Logan share a sweet kiss. When Logan had gotten well enough to be coherent, Carlos had confessed his feelings. Logan had not only accepted but cried from happiness. Logan told everyone that he'd been terrified that he'd die and Carlos would never know his feelings.

Later Camille had found out, but to everyone's surprise she had squealed and hugged the two, babbling that it'd taken them long enough. Then about a week later Kendall came out to his friends and family as gay. It was quite a shock for some, more for the fact that Kendall was the only fully gay member in the band. James, Carlos, and Logan where all bisexual, so everyone was shocked that the leader was the one to play completely for the same team. They all thought it would've been James. Well it made since to Kendall that James would pursue both sex's. The pretty boy had always said he was to pretty for just one.

So after he came out, he'd kind of taken the roll as the 'gay best friend' to Camille and Jo. He honestly didn't mind. It was true after all. The only thing that bugged him was the shopping, he was still a guy, gay or not. He'd actually help Camille and Jo find there current boyfriends. Camille's had shocked everyone.

She's dating Jett. That's right. Jett! Of all people! But strangely they were perfect for each other. They kinda balanced each other out. Jo's had been less of a shock. She was going out with Dak, and there relationship had more sugar on it then when he was with Jo. And that was saying something.

After that he'd been able to relax a little. In this time he and James started to spend more time together. Kendall'd figured out that even if he said he was gay, women still flocked to him, actually more than when he thought he was straight. They either came to just be friends with him or they came to try and be the one that could 'convert' him back. He just looked upon those girls in amusement. So, when he and James went out for a night of fun, Kendall would be the gay wing man. He still found that statement a little weird, but anyway, he would steer the girls that want to try and 'save' him to James. Saying that he himself was a lost cause but his friend over their, yeah the one with the gorgeous hair, was still hanging by the balancing point and all he needed was a nice girl like you to sway him. She'd flip her hair and give a rather predatory smirk and walk right up to James. They'd be kissing in a matter of seconds. It amazed Kendall that they fell for it. He'd watch, shacking his head, before turning away when the kiss got a little to heated for his licking. He always felt this…he didn't know, but he felt it whenever anyone kissed James.

So that's how it went for awhile. Kendall would actually hook up with a couple guys now and then, the girls that just wanted to be friends usually had other gay friends. He'd also help James win a few hook ups with both genders, every time feeling that same feeling. After about one month into this, Kendall got his first boyfriend.

The guys name was Brandon and he'd just moved to the Palm Woods. Kendall meet him by the pool one day and they'd just clicked. But Brandon was his next stress related problem. The first two months of there relationship was perfect. They never fought, they rivaled Dak and Jo in the sweetness department, they were practically joined at the hip, they were perfect. At least, that's what everyone thought.

After their first two months together, that's when everything went down hill. Brandon turned out to be abusive. Of course he never told anybody, passing the bruises and occasional cuts as either going to the ice rink and playing to hard or falling. But soon, the bruises and cuts became more frequent and in places that padding normally covered. It took James three months to notice the change in Kendall.

He confronted Kendall about it immediately. And Kendall denied it for an hour, until James lost his temper and push Kendall into the nearest wall. Kendall instantly went slack, tears pouring from his eyes and faced turned away. Whimpering out, "I-I'm s-sorry. Brandon. I-It w-wont hap-p-pen a-again. I-I'll be good."

James froze then, realizing that he'd triggered something. It was all he needed to confirm what he already knew was true. He'd softened, placing a hand on Kendall's cheek to make him look at him. And spoke softly, so he wouldn't frighten Kendall further. "Kendall. It's me, James. I'm not going to hurt you." He saw Kendall relax and return from whatever place in his mind he escapes to whenever Brandon beats him. "You have to tell me Kendall." And Kendall broke, sobbing loudly and miserable into James' arms, telling James of the abuse he'd gone through for the last three months. He'd fallen asleep later, after he'd stopped crying, comforted by the way James stroked his hand threw his hair.

Kendall'd finally got the courage about a week later to break up with Brandon, James coming alone if thing got too violent. It was hard. He'd been with the guy for the better part of five months and he'd fallen in love with him. Because whenever Brandon wasn't beating on him, he was the perfect boyfriend. And that's when Kendall realized he'd turned into those girls he pities on the news. Those girls that are beautiful, but broken, thinking that the guy that just sent them to the hospital would change. He never understood those girls. How could they be with someone that hurts them initially? Now he does. He got to know the good an bad side of Brandon, but the good side almost never comes out anymore and that was the part he fell in love with. But that part was gone, he needed to move on and be the Kendall Knight he once was, the Kendall Knight that disappeared the moment Brandon changed.

To say Brandon was mad was an understatement. He'd knocked Kendall to the ground, before James could react. He screamed at Kendall, saying that no one would want him, that all he was good for was sex now. Sad part is, Kendall half believed him. Who would want someone that's been damaged so much by a previous relationship? He knew he was going to have trust issues now, but one thing he did know, he wasn't just good for sex. He never did have sex with Brandon, he was extremely grateful for that. If he had, he'd probably believe all of what he screamed at him.

James had beat the crap out of Brandon for that, picked Kendall up as he sobbed and took him back to the apartment. He made sure Kendall felt wanted and loved. The next month was the healing process, for both the physical and mental wounds. He slowly regained his old confidence back, even went out with James a few time like they had before. But it will take some time to heal completely. He still had his moments of depression and nightmares of Brandon coming back, but other than that, he was the old Kendall.

That was pretty much it, well the Jenifers where there too, but nothing big happened with them. The only thing that really happened was when Logan was in the hospital. Kendall was still confused about his sexuality and in pain over Logan being sick, that he slept with blond Jenifer for a sort of comfort. That was pretty much it.

Then there was James, who was sitting to his right. James never had any drama, besides his hair drama. All this last year, James had been there for him. He'd actually helped him with choosing Jo, he was Kendall's rock when Logan was sick, and he'd helped him get the courage to break up with Brandon. He was also a big part in his healing process. James was there through everything, helping him stay together. But not only just this year, his whole life. James was just always there.

He looked over at James and smiled when he saw the pretty boy looking into his mirror while running his comb threw his hair. James caught his eyes in the mirror and smiled, setting it down to look at Kendall. The blond blushed, but smiled back.

"What you thinking about? You've been spaced out for a while now." James asked, chuckling.

Kendall looked at his pins smoothie. "All that's happened this year. I don't know how we've survived."

James laughed, the noise sounding beautiful and calming in Kendall's ears. "Yeah, I know. It's been one thing after another hasn't it?" James smiled.

Kendall stared at James, the smile always took his breath away. He took a moment to just look at James. He was truly beautiful. Kendall knew he was, but never really taken the time to actually see it. James was his best friend and has always been there for him. The brunet was strong, loyal, always upbeat, fun, sweet, had the biggest heart. He was just…James.

The brunet cocked his head to the side in confusion when Kendall never replied. "Kendall?"

Kendall smiled slowly, realizing something he always knew was there. It wasn't really a surprise after all they've been through. "I love you." He said softly.

James smiled softly. "I know." He said, before leaning in and kissing Kendall's lips just as softly as his smile. "And I love you too."

Kendall laughed happily, bring James into a deeper kiss. This one was more passionate, showing just how much they loved each other. They pulled apart and rested their foreheads together, green clashing with hazel showing so much love, it would put Romeo and Juliet to shame.

They were broken out of there little world when everyone at the table screamed, "It's about damn time!" Followed by a laugh from the pair.

They shared one more kiss before leaning up to rest their hands on the table and join the conversation. Although they never were apart, hands clasped together or James' arm around Kendall's shoulders. It was like they'd been together for that year and in a way they had. They endured the pain and come out with a love stronger then it has ever been. The love they always knew was there but didn't understand what it was, until now.

It was finally calm.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment and a kudos! :D


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